Sunday, race day in Rio, was one of the most confusing motivational days I have had in my life
I went to bed on Saturday post qualifying, happy with a good spot for entering the race the next day…4th is pretty good as you can see what is going on in the track, and make some tactical decisions as you fly.
I also went to bed on Saturday night knowing full well the weather was forecast to be quite poor. Get up on Sunday morning, rain, and then it started in my head….4th is a good result for a race…what if I make a mistake and drop back some places…what if I don’t get to race and miss my opportunity to get another podium?
I am quite sure all the race pilots were thinking a similar thing, especially those near the top of qualifying. It goes with the term “a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”, and here I had a bird in my hand.
The team had a chat in the morning within the hangar walls and I explained to the them that it was harder to wind up from thinking we were not flying, than wind down from expecting to and cancelling. I briefed them all that I am treating everything as though it is a blue sky day and there is absolutely no doubt I can go flying and I will do well with the opportunities I am presented….and if any words other than that come out of my mouth, they were to steer my thoughts back to a positive direction.
Flying started, I got into my routine, was feeling quite relaxed and had stopped considering not flying…I was ready, I was in the cockpit, I was focused.
I was rolled out onto the grid stand, could see some weather coming for the first time and that thought enters my head…what if this is the last flight I get to do and the rain makes is more difficult for me? Push that thought back out and back into positive thoughts. Close the canopy, give Jack the wind up signal and a tap on the canopy from the officials to tell me ‘rain delay’. At first I did not know how bad and was told I could remain in the cockpit in the grid stand, but after a few minutes it became obvious there were still 4 other pilots who needed to race before me, most of whom had actually already taken off and were coming back home without racing.
We rolled back into our hangar then started waiting. Nothing I can do about it and here come the thoughts…4th wouldn’t be bad…takeoff in 25 minutes…this is the one and only round…don’t make a mistake on this flight…4th wouldn’t be bad…then finally “Race is cancelled, yesterday’s results stand”.
What I thought would be a great relief that I had just hung unto 4th actually turned into great disappointment. I felt I had not earned the result and had been ripped off the opportunity to do even better. A bizarre run of emotions!
In hindsight, what it shows is that I am driven to race and improve.
The desire to hold 4th place was purely nervous energy hoping things did not go wrong for me. The disappointment was due to the effort we all put in to accomplish that day…race the aircraft against the other pilots and see how we can improve our position in the World Championship standings.
That was a good lesson for me and brought me back to reality a little to understand that it is not about the final result, it is about being very privileged to tour the world and race these specialized aircraft to their limits….that is why I do this!!
So, was the race supposed to happen this past weekend? I don’t think so. It was the correct decision by the race committee to try to get the race in and a timely cancellation at the same time.
My wife did not attend this race, first time ever and neither did my son. That is three strikes against racing that day and while we won’t generally admit to being superstitious, we generally are, and the results were safe and good.
Next stop home, then Windsor.
Matt.
